The sad times won’t last but the growth from challenging situations will last a lifetime. If you simply ask “Are you OK?” they may be used to pretending and reply “I’m fine.”. Cacioppo JT, Hughes ME, Waite LJ, Hawkley LC, Thisted RA. It’s always nice to know you’re loved or wanted. When you reach out to a friend, letting them know that you are going to be there every step of the way can be very reassuring. If your friend has not yet seen a doctor, encourage them to seek help and reassure them that there is nothing wrong with asking for assistance. I love you. Benazzi F. Various forms of depression. Your words won’t cure them. Cheer up, buddy! We want to be helpful, but often we don't know the right words. It is not always easy to know what to say when a person you care about is clinically depressed. Br J Clin Psychol. Contents . This can be hard to believe when depressed, but can also be incredibly helpful in a crisis. That’s how it feels. BMC Psychiatry. Learn more about how to spot the symptoms and what to do if they occur, including when to see a doctor. Even if the w… Know the warning signs to help prevent suicide, and use these seven ways to help you start talking to someone with depression. However, there…. However, until the depressed person has given you permission to be their therapist (as a friend or professional), the following responses are more likely to help the depressed. In this case, it would be best to simply admit that you don't understand exactly what they are going through, but you care about them and want to try. Sometimes the most important thing you can do for a depressed friend is to just listen sympathetically while they talk about what is bothering them, allowing them to relieve the pressure of pent-up feelings. Hearing someone say explicitly that they’ll be there, and will stick by you during recovery, can really help. Remember that this is the depression talking, not your loved one, so try not to take it personally. Depression places a great weight on the person who is experiencing it, both physically and mentally, so there are probably many things you can do to ease the burden as your friend recovers. Don't accuse, threaten, blame, or make light of what your friend is feeling. Validating that the experience of anxiety and depression is difficult is one of the most helpful things you can say. It permeates the day in a negative way and may include symptoms that are both emotional and physical. If this is the case, don’t push. They help you determine how to identify someone in need of support and who to contact within the social media community if you’re worried about their safety. But they can help. It is one of saddest truths we have to confront in life that unless we're talking about a child with a bumped knee, a hug and kiss cannot heal, no matter how much love we pack into them. Sometimes people will lash out at those trying to help them because they are hurting and don't know where to direct those bad feelings. Depression can make many people feel alone and like they should isolate. The biochemical imbalances associated with depression are what is driving how bad your friend feels about certain situations—not the situations themselves. People seek help from professional psychologists for many different challenges. In my opinion, avoiding the subject is the worst tactic. Your depressed loved one can’t just “snap out of it” by sheer force of will. It might be uncomfortable, but it can make a real difference — especially if they’ve been too afraid or embarrassed to reach out for help. Through the use of medications and therapy, your friend has a very good chance of returning to feeling normal again. You can beat this.’The hopelessness of depression stands with its arms crossed, blocking the door to anything better. Br J Psychiatry. Knowing how to talk to someone living with depression can be a great way to support them. Keep in mind that someone who is sad may not want to talk to anyone about what they are feeling. Depression is a common mental health issue, meaning that many people will need to find constructive, positive ways to talk about it with their loved ones. These are statements in a conversation which help someone to feel listened to, understood, and hopeful that things can improve. Helping doesn’t have to be a huge, drastic effort. 2. Pharmacological Treatments. It can be tough to talk with a loved one who's depressed. Finally, the risk of suicide is high in those living with depression. No matter what you say or what you do to help your friend, they may still experience suicidal thoughts and feelings. If you wouldn’t say something to someone living with a physical condition, like diabetes or cancer, you probably shouldn’t say it to your friend with depression. 2016;209(4):284-293. doi:10.1192/bjp.bp.115.169094, Ⓒ 2021 About, Inc. (Dotdash) — All rights reserved, Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. However, keep the focus on them. When they’re having a hard time and need someone to talk to, they may remember your offer and come to you. Depression after surgery is not uncommon. When you want to say more, but have a hard time expressing what you feel, try referencing the following statements someone who is depressed might find helpful to hear. When someone’s depressed, they may feel the exact opposite. Phrases like ‘Cheer up!’ or ‘It is what it is’ or ‘Toughen up’ can sometimes spill from our lips. Expressions like ‘tough love’, ‘big girl panties’ and ‘sad sack’ might swirl in our heads. "You are important to me even when you are feeling down." But how can you tell if it's normal — or something more? 2001;322(7283):419-21. doi:10.1136/bmj.322.7283.419, Kelly MA, Morse JQ, Stover A, et al. If you’ve had depression, you can share that you know what they’re going through. It’s a good reminder that you’re listening, you see them, and you’re here to help them cope. They may believe they have a character flaw. Be there for them, even if you don’t have a similar personal experience. Best Things to Say to Someone Who Is Depressed. To a person struggling with depression, the problem has a way of feeling all-consuming. “Focus on the positives in your life.” If you aren’t sure what to do to help them, these 22 thoughtful ways for how to make someone feel … Anybody with anxiety can accurately proclaim that this belief is false, but that does not stop people (including some very influential people with the power to change national medical and social policies) believing that mental illness is series of imaginary afflictions concocted by people hoping to gain pity from the masses. During this time, what your friend needs most is not references to fast, easy solutions, but an awareness that you will be by their side through their treatment. When you want to say more, but have a hard time expressing what you feel, try referencing the following statements someone who is depressed might find helpful to hear. Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. Reminding someone … Finding the right thing to say to someone with depression may seem complicated, but if you remember not to be judgmental, to sympathize if you can’t empathize and not to trivialize their situation, chances are you will be a great comfort to that person. But you don't have to pretend. All-day is not the same, you need to wait and be patient for the good things to happen. I’m here for you. when you're listening to a loved one, recognize that it might be a sign you are burnt out. I am a 9th grader at East Junior High. How to Comfort Someone Who Is Sad (with Pictures) - wikiHow If someone close to you is feeling sad, use the motivating words to help lift them back up. Reassure your friend that depression really is an illness caused by a biochemical imbalance in the brain, and it does not mean that they are weak. Your words won’t cure them. If you know someone feeling sad, hugging it out is really comforting. What do you say to someone who is severely depressed? Now, a special task force…, Although it's not used as much as it was in the past, lithium for depression has been proven effective for those with bipolar disorder. Because after all, you don't know what's really going on. Knowing what to say to someone who is depressed, sad, or suffering can be daunting. These 5 Go-To Recipes Will Comfort You, FDA-Approved Ketamine Nasal Spray Cuts Depression Symptoms in 24 Hours, First FDA-Approved Drug for Postpartum Depression Is Expected to Cost More Than $30,000, What to Know About Treating Depression During Pregnancy, Zara Risoldi Cochrane, Pharm.D., M.S., FASCP, The Importance of Mental Health While Living with an Invisible Illness, “Just think happy thoughts. 10 Things Not to Say to a Suicidal Person. The fact is, there’s no perfect thing to say to someone living with depression. Phrases like ‘Cheer up!’ or ‘It is what it is’ or ‘Toughen up’ can sometimes spill from our lips. Andrews G. Should depression be managed as a chronic disease?. You should try it.”, “So many people out there are worse off than you.”, looking for a way to end their life, such as searching online for methods, withdrawing from activities and isolating from family and friends, visiting or calling people to say goodbye, giving away prized possessions or acting reckless, other symptoms of depression, such as aggression, fatigue, and sleeping too much or too little. What to say (and not say) to someone with a broken heart. 2006;21(1):140-51. doi:10.1037/0882-7974.21.1.140, Werner-Seidler A, Afzali MH, Chapman C, Sunderland M, Slade T. The relationship between social support networks and depression in the 2007 National Survey of Mental Health and Well-being. 4. It's terrible." 2011;11:196. doi:10.1186/1471-244X-11-196. What to say to someone who has depression, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, What to do if you think a friend is considering suicide, a toolkit for supporting people on social media, Yoga, Running, and Other Workouts Can Combat Depressive Episodes, 7 Signs That It’s Time to Revisit Your Mental Health Treatment Plan, Too Exhausted to Eat? Read: I just want to be helpful, but being supportive and a good hug helps feeling!, even if you ’ re not alone without having the conversation taken over with well-meaning advice the National Prevention... An appointment nature of depression not — to say what to say to someone who is sad a depressed person may! Do if they are sad quick fixes to cope with our own feelings helplessness... N'T accuse, threaten, blame, or suffering can be a great way to them! People seek help from professional psychologists for many different challenges to wait and be for... 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