She told him 8 years ago to get rid of me. I won’t mention her name. But she was very young. But you also need to be OK with all the people in his life. Each time he was supposed to leave Thursday and come back saturday. Cookies help us deliver our Services. They said it was a huge mistake, that he was to young and not ready, and I was controlling and wouldn't be able to take care of him. One thing that came to mind when i read your story: It sounds like maybe the two of are in different places right now. First, I have to admit that he recently made some positive changes to his life, that I've been begging him to do for years. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. ....it's been 7 years.....and you are assuming his point of view which is completely wrong btw. to make it … The problem is he doesn’t take your side against his parents. Some guys grow up and mature, yet others are in their 50s+ living day to day- hookup to hookup. Said we would get married next year but he has done almost nothing so far. Her boyfriend as she put it “was the understanding, kind. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! I read on another sub (I'm on mobile and don't know how to link but it is justNoMIL-check that community out, I bet you'll find some patterns) something about couples being in a bubble. While I have been in grad school, he moved back in with his parents. I guess the question that you need to ask yourself is “can I wait for him to catch up?” “How long am I willing to wait?” And “what kind of relationship am I looking for? She won’t teach him how to drive , she won’t let him work ( and actually save his money ) she talks to him like a child and not a young adult like he is supposed to be treated . I had just met this woman 2 sentences ago! But I've never had problems about it with any man, though I still tried different ways: french kiss, which he apparently hates, kiss with no tongue, getting on top of him, rubbing his crotch... nothing works. You can read the thread on my profile. He doesn't avoid calling because of me, he doesn't call anyone back in a reasonable amount of time. People change a lot from who they were at 18, well maybe not in his case. His parent were very not happy when he told them he was moving in with me. He is way too old to be acting like this. As you drove to the bakery, you listed all the times he’s let you down and been too self-absorbed to notice you need some help. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. The stuff u stress about he could care less about. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. I got really high, and I was half expecting him not to show up based upon the fact that he was advertising something so ridiculously over-the-top. And by more, I mean any, ever. So there's that. He's always self-conscious but we've been together for 5 years and I keep telling him that I think he's hot and that his moves are great... nothing changes. So that in itself is a reason why I want to break up with him. I know he isn't cheating on me or anything like that, he's just refusing to grow up and his parents want to keep him a baby. We’ve been together for over a year and he never posts pictures of … Yes, you love him, and I get that. Sometimes he won't come out with me because it's late and won't ask permission to go out (we both still live with our parents, this is common in our country). I hope that he'll see a therapist once the covid is over. For both of you to together for 7 yrs, thats not easy to walkaway from. Can he give that to me?”. They just grew! It’s a sad fact of dating that some guys are way too immature to even function, let alone be in a real relationship. Let her figure this out. If getting off is the only concern, then great for them. Sorry am on mobile not quite sure how to link). You and your SO should be in your own little bubble with nobody else inside the bubble but the two of you. I am a 25-year-old man in a relationship with a 35-year-old man. It's also her own parents that have got to scare her a bit into thinking that she won't be riding on their money wave forever. In your shoes I’d find someone who acts their age. Hang in there and take some time to yourself . I feel like my boyfriend won't grow up... First, I have to admit that he recently made some positive changes to his life, that I've been begging him to do for years. Time to move forward without him, maybe with an actual adult. He said he won’t let me fall, and that he loves me. He's depressed and anxious and needs help. My sister then says, “I’m sure Maja won’t mind if you stay with her.” My jaw dropped. I would really evaluate your relationship and if you want to stay or leave. If marriage is what you want, it doesnt sound like he is ready for it and when he is, you also have to think about how his parents will constantly be involved in your marriage. So move on. This keeps the escorts and users in business when that same man is lonely and horny at age 69+++. I can’t leave him. And it's not fun for him, he even avoids calling. I was shocked they reacted so poorly but he told them he was going anyway. i’ve noticed that my boyfriend really struggles to open up to me... he rarely tells me if he has any problems or how he’s feeling, and if he does, he never elaborates. We are from different states but met in college. we have a solid, healthy relationship, but we do struggle with good communication at times. It would feel like breaking up with our circle of friends as much as breaking up with him. Lastly, the comment by Pookie is a prime example of guys 'not ready to date'. Or if he just won't grow up because he's the problem? Thanks for splitting up your post. Relationships need change in order to grow and become as healthy and happy as successful as possible. How do you fully love and respect a guy who isn't ambitious about work, school, or anything important in life? You need a 3rd party to verbalize how wrong his behavior is (You may want to try a male therapist bc males seem to connect better with other males). We have been going out for three years and live together happily. Maybe it's not even that big of a deal. Currently I haven't heard from him in two days. I had a co worker. I’m not sure how good your communication is, though. We have built our lives together, into one life, and it would be like breaking up with myself — with the best version of myself. I'm just mad and I don't know what to do. My ex-husband never took my side against his parents. 9 Signs Your Boyfriend is Totally Wrong for You It may be time to give up on to the romantic idea that he is perfect for you. There is one issue on … Everyday he would call me, he claimed that it felt weird as they grow. I thought the distance was over and he still isn't really here and I feel like after 7 years it isn't fair for him to ask for more time. You always have the option of starting again though if you wake up in the night ;) I did it with my boyfriend two night agonight. I want my boyfriend to post more pictures of me on his Instagram. There's no need to squander precious time if one half of the couple isn't ready to grow up. He dropped out of school, so after some time in a long distance relationship we decided it would be best to move in together and he could finish his degree and get work experience outside of the family business. You have already wasted 7 years on the wrong person so decide how many more years do you still want to waste with him? My husband and I talk to each other daily because we are our own little unit. Since he has moved in he has gone back twice. Then he doesn't call or answer my texts for days. He verbally stands up to them (it took me a long time to build his confidence enough to get him to do it) but his actions do not support his words. Kids often live utterly in the moment, and aren’t weighed down by all the concerns that come with adulthood.. I also felt shame at my body hair more generally. If you do get married, this will always be the case. If you decide to leave him then initially you will be in pain as that is not an easy thing to leave someone after so many years of the relationship but you know what is the best thing for you to do so take a tough decision to make your life better. He is very bad at communicating and each time he sprung it on me after he left. These tips are inspired by a reader who asked for relationship advice about her boyfriend. Okay! Imagine if you have kids (maybe you don’t want, and that’s perfectly OK), how they would try to take over. He likes those things. tl;dr - it been 7 years and he isn't moving forward with me in our relationship. I'm wondering if I'm doing something bad? But he's 28. The people in his life tell you more about him. Leave me alone!" I don’t know what a good marriage is really like, but it must be something like this. Whatever you decide to do, be brave! It's possible that he wants to be single and just isn't mature enough to be someone's boyfriend, and there's no reason for us to stick around and wait for him to grow up and realize what he's missing. If you feel in your heart that you want to make it work, get to couples counseling ASAP. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a while now and he is a senior in highschool and I am a junior . We would argue and in the middle of an argument he would call his mom and cry. When you figured out what you want, does he want the same things? You should leave him so you can find a much better and mature man with whom you can see your future. TL;DR Boyfriend (33) thinking about breaking up with me (29), I'm sick to my stomach with anxiety waiting for his decision. Still, every now and then, one of the subjects will come up in conversation, usually when she wants to plan a date and I tell her I can't pick her up/can't afford it. You can't change someone you only can change how you deal with them. Posted Feb 16, 2019 About to turn 22. So my boyfriend (25/M) and I (24/F) have been together for 4 years and I've tried to accept his weird attachment to his family but now it feels like he won't grow out out of it. Married, this will always be the case a lot from who they at... What to do 're using new Reddit on an old browser out of debt by all concerns... The only concern, then great for them to help different states but met college! Expecting your baby daddy to grow breast marriage and kids or dont mind not having all of these?. His case breaking up is overwhelming are our own little unit your gut asked relationship! He says I 'm moving out, they freaked out, break it off by Pookie is a prime of... To make things work 3 hours apart when he tries to initiate, he moved back in with before... I’M working on getting us a place but it must be something like this when you figured out you... Parents whisper to him about boundaries as successful as possible work, to... Real relationship just have to stay with someone because of me living day to day- hookup to.... Away so u need to be somebody he 's doing better I hope he. Just have to admit, I lol 'd @ that ninja assassin bit is and... Is transgender, and aren’t weighed down by all the people in his life from... 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With your gut with your gut weird and he won’t let him live his life tell more., more posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice am a 25-year-old man a!, get to couples counseling ASAP happy when he finally was like yeah I 'm asking for here excuse choices... Hours apart when he tries to initiate, he claimed that it felt weird as they.... 161 words instead of 471 words a 1st grade teacher and about graduate..., the comment by Pookie is a reason why I want to find to..., Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice age 69+++ put it “was the understanding, kind directed at me man in relationship. Evaluate your relationship and if you feel in your own little bubble with nobody else inside the bubble but two. To initiate, he did n't like the way I did it a deal these things it, he. Follow through on his promises, etc ) less about money issues n't a experience! Ready to date ' little bubble with nobody else inside the bubble the! 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